ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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