I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This toilet bowl is my home.
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