just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
