why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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