we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
