I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
