My friends, they love my intelligence
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
