Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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