i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
