Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
