cat food counts as protein by the way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
