We named our party play list daddy issues
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
