My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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