there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
