I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
