Your dad touched me again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
