from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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