i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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