Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
worst night to have a conscience
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
