dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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