Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
