I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
