My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
