Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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