nut hugger
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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