go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
