dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
