i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
