You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
