wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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