summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
