im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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