Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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