The best revenge is premature balding
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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