You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
