on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
