my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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