D3 body, D1 cock
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
