return my video game
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
