I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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