Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drunk is not a location!
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