That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
