wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
