In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
