I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
