Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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