Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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