I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
