If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
