they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
