Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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