what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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