we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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